It was both more and less than coincidence that community, difference, and party were the prompt words that I delayed writing about for reverb10. The first day I was busy with other projects, and then the second day I didn’t like the prompt, and then the third day . . . Really, procrastination is always a form of indecision multiplied by time, which just makes it worse.
So anyway. I’m kind of ambivalent about community, because in my experience self-declared communities often have the effect of functioning as mechanisms for exclusion, even when they weren’t formed with that intention. Community usually implies (or explicitly specifies) rules for admission, behavior, compliance, and expulsion. Some rules are perfectly reasonable and legitimate. Others not so much.
Such rules have the effect of authorizing some kinds of difference and not others. Difference in and of itself is meaningless and without value (or “beauty,” as the prompt suggested); it only gains meaning in relation to something else. Difference requires at least two terms: mainstream and alternative; male and female; west and east. The most basic definition of difference that undergirds community is that of us and them. That’s how community is shaped. And that’s not a binary game I’m interested in playing.
What I do value, however, is connection. For me, that happens more easily one-on-one or in a small group. How many people does it take to make a community? How many people does it take to have a party? Probably more than I’m usually comfortable with.
I didn’t go to any parties in 2010, other than two receptions at professional conferences, which to my mind are a different thing altogether. But I did have the opportunity to visit with old friends in far-away places. Those meals in Victoria, Toronto, and Portland stand out in my mind as examples of the deep connections that I treasure and hope to foster more of in the year ahead.