Over the past couple of weeks, many houses in my area have put out Halloween decorations, which have been the focus of much curiosity and some concern for my dogs. They know what these yards and porches usually look like, since we walk various routes through the neighborhood at least twice a day. So when the inflateable ghosts, spiderweb streamers, and fake tombstones show up, the dogs definitely notice.
With three dogs in our family, it’s always interesting to me to see how they differ in their responses to new things and situations. Our middle dog, Angel, ignores the spiders, pumpkins, and black cats, but she’s very scared of skulls and skeletons, especially if they are near life-sized. Several houses we walk past have skeletons hanging from trees, posed on porch swings, or skulls piled up in the garden. As we walk past, she will hang back, display nervous ear and head gestures, and sometimes even vocalize her distress.
Of course, if I saw a real skeleton posed on someone’s porch, I’d be fearful, as would most people. But these holiday decorations aren’t really intended to scare anyone – to human eyes (even those of children) it’s clear that they are plastic. Because such decorations are obviously fake, they transform what would otherwise be scary into something fun.
Of course, it’s hard to know exactly how Angel sees the skeletons, but they trigger a very specific fear response in her that our other dogs don’t have. And because she’s a dog, I can’t just tell her “those are fake, they’re not real.” Once that response starts, I have to help her calm down and work through it. We walk briskly past the scary skeleton, then I redirect her attention with basic training commands and positive rewards for successful responses. (Treats!)
What Spooks You?
The basic fear response works in a similar way in humans, too. It’s just that yours probably isn’t triggered by a plastic skeleton. Have you ever looked at your calendar and felt your stomach clench when you think about an upcoming deadline? Have you ever seen someone’s name in your email inbox and felt dread at what her message might say?
It doesn’t matter that an email can’t directly hurt you – your brain, nervous system, and body respond in much the same way to abstract threats as they would to physical ones. Once that process starts, it does little good to tell yourself “there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
The best solution is to move, breathe, and redirect your focus
- Moving your body by standing up from your desk, walking into another room, or stretching for a moment, begins to redirect blood and oxygen flow in your body and gives your lungs more room to inflate, which will hel pyou to breathe more fully.
- Breathing consciously, even for just a couple of breaths, gives your prefrontal cortex a chance to actually assess the situation. Is this a dangerous mountain lion about to pounce, or is it just my calendar?
- Redirect by simply asking yourself: what do I choose to focus on right now? We always have a choice. Just giving yourself a little breathing space can help you reorient to that position of active choice, rather than unthinking reaction.
Then you can smile and realize it’s probably just a plastic skeleton that spooked you, rather than the real thing.