The last two weeks of December are an especially busy time for many people: academic semesters are ending, schedules are changing, and holiday celebrations and travel plans fill up those last days of the year very quickly.
Whether you’re preparing for a family visit, trying to set out a reasonable writing goal for the winter break, or seeking some rest and relaxation at year’s end, here’s a question I’ve found really helpful to consider:
Do I want something new or something familiar right now?
This question can be helpful for all kinds of decisions, big and small, whether it’s what to eat for lunch or how to spend your vacation weekend. When you ask yourself this question and really pay attention to what comes up as your answer, you may be surprised.
Each of us has a natural preference for a certain level of familiarity and novelty in our lives. Some people prefer a set routine, and others get bored eating the same sandwich twice in a month. You may already know what your usual inclination is. But at different times and in different contexts, what you really want and need may change.
If you’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed, focusing on a familiar task can help you regain a sense of calm. If you’re feeling dull or lethargic, doing something new can be energizing. Even small elements of novelty or familiarity can help you recalibrate your energy and attention. Food, exercise, driving or walking routes, entertainment, work space, and time schedules can all be easily adjusted to emphasize something new or something familiar.
Here’s an example: my family and I moved last month. During our first week in our new house, everything was unfamiliar — from the arrangement of the kitchen drawers to the layout of the neighborhood. Even the simplest daily tasks required extra thought and effort. In my down time, I found myself watching reruns of Seinfeld — with so much newness all around me, I couldn’t concentrate on watching a movie or even a new episode of a dramatic TV show. A few minutes of a sitcom that I’ve seen before was reassuringly familiar. But now that we’re settled in, I’m excited to walk new routes with my dogs and we’ve started watching the series Homeland. For me, novelty is entertaining and energizing but only when I have also some familiar space and routines to keep me grounded.
So if you’re not feeling quite the way you’d like to this holiday season, try checking in with yourself to see whether you need something familiar or something new. And then make it happen!