It’s Still the New Year

Jan 302013
 

By the end of January, many people have made resolutions and already given up on them. You can see this at most gyms and fitness centers — the first two weeks of January are super crowded, but by the end of the month things go back to normal levels. Lots of smaller, less visible resolutions (those that take place between you and your desk, or you and the refrigerator) are abandoned as well-intentioned people find that resuming the routine of work and school after the holidays makes change seem difficult.

Why are so many new year’s resolutions hard to keep?

They’re not clearly defined: If you resolve simply to exercise more or eat better, it’s hard to measure whether you’ve achieved that goal for any particular day or week.

They’re unrealistic: Our goals are born from our desires, but the actions required to achieve them have to be adjusted to the context and commitments in our lives. It’s all very well to resolve to write for two hours a day, but if you don’t actually have the time in your schedule for that, you will only wind up frustrated.

They need support: If you have ambitious goals, then planning how to reach them may not be enough. You need someone to support you in taking action — whether that’s a friend who will cheer you up when you feel discouraged, a coach who will hold you accountable for your actions, or a family member who joins you in your endeavor.

Here’s some good news

It’s still the new year. If you’re reading this post on January 31, only 8.7% of the year has gone by. That’s actually not very much. To reframe that amount: if you apply the same percentage to waking minutes in the day, estimating a day with 15 waking hours, you come up with 78 minutes.

In other words, if you woke up at 6:00 am, at 7:20 am, would you feel that the day was too far along to start something new?

Probably not. So apply the same thinking to 2013 and focus on how many new possibilities still lie ahead this year.

You can start doing something new any day. The start of the year, the first of the month, or Monday mornings may serve as external markers of something new, markers that are shared by many people. But if those don’t work for you, then go ahead and choose to do something differently right now, no matter what day it is.

Try a Five-Day Experiment

If you have a goal you’d like to move forward on this year, try this method to help you get into action:

  • Pick a specific, small action you can do each day that will help you move forward on this goal. If you’re feeling discouraged or stuck around this goal, pick a very small action to make sure it’s realistic.
  • Decide when each day for the next five days that you will take this action.
  • Tell a friend, coach, or other accountability partner what you plan to do.
  • Track your progress: put a star on your calendar each day that you take action or email your accountability partner with your successes.

Why five days? Because you can imagine the next five days. You probably have a pretty good idea of what you’ll be doing and how you could make time to take action on your important goal.

Once you’ve successfully taken action for those five days, you’ll have gained some momentum and also some awareness. Maybe you’ll learn that Wednesday mornings are not a good day to go to the gym, or that writing in the evening is better for your creativity. Then, use whatever you’ve learned about yourself and your goal to design your action plan for the next five days!

For the New Year

Dec 312012
 

I said something on Twitter a few days ago that resonated with several people — simply that “you don’t have to wait until January 1 to start doing something differently.”  You can make any day your new day, the start of your new year, no matter what the calendar says.

And yet, many of us also pay more attention to some days than others: the start or end of a month; the solstice or the beginning of a new season; the beginning of a new academic semester; and our birthday tend to be days that prompt reflection and the setting of new intentions.

Because so many people use the start of a new calendar year to set goals and make plans for the future, there’s a strong energy around intentions right now. You may also encounter its opposite — a kind of resistance or cynicism about resolutions or goal-setting that often arises from trying to force change that isn’t really what you deeply desire.

If you want to use this time of year for reflection and planning, here are three different sets of questions that can be helpful. Choose the set that speaks to you  — some of us prefer to think in concrete specific details, and others prefer to imagine the big picture. Or you can try your hand at all three.

Keep in mind — if you find a set of questions that are useful, you don’t have to wait until the next January to use them again.  They are helpful for checking in with yourself on a quarterly or monthly basis, too.

Set A

  •  What accomplishments, experiences, and events were most important to you in 2012? List at least 5 in each category.
  • What would you most like to do in 2013?
  • Where would you like to go?
  • Who would you like to connect with?

Set B

  • When you think about the past year, what themes seem most important?
  • Who have you been this year?  Who would you like to be next year?
  • What personal qualities would you like to strengthen next year?
  • What three key words capture the essence of what’s important to you for 2013?

 

Set C

  • What do you want to leave behind you or let go of?
  • What do you want more of in the year ahead?

 

Set Your Intentions

After you’ve spent time reflecting on some of these questions, try writing out 4-5 intentions for the year ahead, phrased in the present tense.  For example, one of my personal intentions is to focus on my health, which I phrased as “I take good care of my physical well-being.”  Setting that intention encourages me to ask each day how I might put it into practice.  Some days that might mean going for a run; other days it might mean taking a nap.  Right now, on December 31st, I can’t anticipate which days in the new year will require which specific activities to support that intention. But I know it’s important to me.

Phrasing these intentions in the present tense means that each time you read one, you’re saying it inside your mind (or even aloud) and helping bring it into reality.  Writing out your 4-5 intentions on an index card, or posting them on your computer desktop where you’ll see them each day helps bring them into focus and make them useful far beyond the first week of the year.

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Dec 052012
 
Before and After

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